Am I going to let my gang of gremlins keep me cowering in a beige corner or am I going to make some bold choices, paint some walls and get on with life?

It sounds very serious, doesn’t it?

After 23 years of almond and white walled apartment dwelling, I’m now a homeowner.

Before moving in I want it painted. I love the idea of color in every room AND I’m all twisted up about making disastrous choices.

My head is busy. There are a few conversations going on at once. Shall we listen in?

You have no design sense. How are YOU going to pick the right colors? You are choosing amateur colors. You are going to hate these colors… Will they flow from room to room?

What if people don’t like it? You’re going to be embarrassed that you didn’t know what you were doing! And everyone will know!

You’re not painting correct feng-shui colors!

These statements are followed by a lengthy discourse as to how true they are or aren’t. And though the debates have raged into the wee hours…I’m painting anyway.

Yes.

The yellow office might look like a “child’s room” as a designer friend helpfully pointed out this morning, and the white bead board is out of place as “this isn’t a Nantucket beach house,” (same friend) but WTF?!?!

Am I going to hem and haw and take on everyone’s opinion and second guess myself and be paralyzed? Or do I paint on?

I say, “PAINT THE F**K ON!!”

I’m writing about this because it’s been super uncomfortable and I don’t like the feeling but I do like the learning. It’s yet another instance of having to do some thing perfectly or not doing it at all – a major M.O. of mine (see the Nadia Comaneci curse) and it’s bullshit. We are talking about paint! I’m not hesitating to do brain-surgery because I don’t feel qualified.

I’m hesitating because I think I might look silly or get it ‘wrong’ and be judged – and truly, a large peach room is strong evidence – it can’t be hidden!

But here’s the thing. While I hate the idea of a peach room (this is actually a soft orange and it just makes my little boy’s room glow), who cares?? And who cares if anyone thinks it should be blue! I like it.

And hello? I can just paint over it if I end up wanting something different…

And here’s where my lesson comes in:

Don’t not start, wait and wonder and be sad about the potential never lived up to.

Just f**king do it. Make a decision, commit to an action and see what happens. Then, based on that outcome? Another decision and action! Real life learning. Based on my life experience. I don’t have to hold back, wait and wonder and ultimately, mourn the unrealized potential.

Who knows? It might be fabulous and exciting and better than I could have imagined!

Or I could fail spectacularly. And that just makes me laugh.

The paint and lesson are still wet but going out of my comfort zone with this paint job is pushing me to step out in some other areas.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

Edit: This was written in October of last year – and I’m happy to report that I’m loving the colors! AND I’ve committed to some other super bold choices – both in exterior paints and LIFE. –10/20/11 

Where are you holding back because you might not do it perfectly? What decision and action could you commit to that would get you closer to your goal? I’d love to hear…